Bad Boy Running

Ep 517 | TBS - Welcome Hercules Hunter Hellard

December 01, 2023 Jody Raynsford & David Hellard Episode 517
Ep 517 | TBS - Welcome Hercules Hunter Hellard
Bad Boy Running
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Bad Boy Running
Ep 517 | TBS - Welcome Hercules Hunter Hellard
Dec 01, 2023 Episode 517
Jody Raynsford & David Hellard

In this episode of The Bad Stuff, David spills the beans on the birth of his son... welcome Hercules Hunter Hellard, and how he navigated the tricky challenge of being there for Claire during labour while also catching up on reading The Week. 

Plus, Jody and David discuss the etiquette of offering tea to the non-birthing partner – and whether there is nothing more offensive to a British person than not being offered a cup of tea (the answer - there isn't).

If you want an accurate picture of the reality of giving birth, this is not the episode you're looking for.  

Love the podcast and these videos? Buy us a beer! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/badboyrunning

Join the Bad Boy Running Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/badboyrunning

Visit the Bad Boy Running store for merchandise: https://store.badboyrunning.com

Join the Bad Boy Running Club here: https://club.badboyr...

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this episode of The Bad Stuff, David spills the beans on the birth of his son... welcome Hercules Hunter Hellard, and how he navigated the tricky challenge of being there for Claire during labour while also catching up on reading The Week. 

Plus, Jody and David discuss the etiquette of offering tea to the non-birthing partner – and whether there is nothing more offensive to a British person than not being offered a cup of tea (the answer - there isn't).

If you want an accurate picture of the reality of giving birth, this is not the episode you're looking for.  

Love the podcast and these videos? Buy us a beer! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/badboyrunning

Join the Bad Boy Running Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/badboyrunning

Visit the Bad Boy Running store for merchandise: https://store.badboyrunning.com

Join the Bad Boy Running Club here: https://club.badboyr...

Speaker 1:

They're bad, they're boys and occasionally they talk about running. Yes, it's the Bad Boy Running Podcast with your hosts, jody Rainsford and David Heller. Come back, baby, come back, but goodbye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. I must admit I was a clone to be messing around, but that doesn't mean that you have to leave.

Speaker 2:

Goodbye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

Speaker 3:

Hello Jody, Hello DudeBanders, how are you all doing? Oh good, Thank you.

Speaker 2:

Big question is how are you?

Speaker 3:

May. I'm great, I'm absolutely great. We're now one week. We came back a week ago today, Wait, wait wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2:

Have you actually made? Has it actually been an announcement in the BBR group? Like unless people are following you. They probably don't know.

Speaker 3:

Probably not. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I can't believe people cannot not follow it.

Speaker 2:

I can't believe that there are people who do not understand what is going on in my life.

Speaker 3:

What, although it's very haven't posted. I've done no posts on socials anywhere, so so, yeah, how are people supposed to know?

Speaker 2:

I think people are kind of finding I've taken. You done something on caffeine bullet.

Speaker 3:

Yes, we did. Yeah, absolutely Just a little coffee bullet, but yes, so I have a, I have a son.

Speaker 2:

And you know about it. That's good.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely so. It was a surprise. I didn't know what the sex would be until little hurt plopped out flops onto the bed. Did Claire? Did Claire know? Yeah, she's known from the beginning. Her and Mama B have known the whole time and her friends who live in distant, far places also know. But no one who could, could basically overlap with my friendship group or might I might, might might meet on a night out drinking or anything like that, cause it's too easy to. It's always the friends who let things slip right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly, yeah, you never, just, you just don't let anyone know that kind of stuff. Right and brilliant. So we now have, we now have a Hercules, a Hercules in the world.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, hercules Hunter Hellards, this is a oh, my official name, triple H, triple H, it's like a red slug. I've. You know, I've never heard of this wrestler, but Briggs, triple H, briggs loves the triple H element of it, and so I was like sure, yeah, I mean, that's a. I had suggested an Anthony or a Charles, you know, reference my dad, but he's only going to get a look in if we have a second son. So no, it's purely going for the. The impact.

Speaker 2:

Going for impact. Well, you know, that's it, isn't it? Use the first one as the impact, the second one mopping up. That's the mopping up names. Exactly, that's it.

Speaker 3:

And that's the thing I was trying to think of people who you might associate the names with. The only hunters I can think of are Hunter Biden maybe not that great a link and Hunter. What's Hunter's surname? Hunter?

Speaker 2:

Davis Hunter Davis.

Speaker 3:

Who's Hunter Davis? Is he Hunter S Thompson?

Speaker 2:

Hunter S Thompson as well. These aren't good examples. These aren't very good oh.

Speaker 3:

God, they've all got one thing in common, actually, don't they? Kps amounts of drugs.

Speaker 2:

Hunter comes across as like a really kind of strong name. You think, oh, that's a strong, upstanding masculine name, things like that. And then when you hear all the famous people with the name Hunter, you're like, oh, it doesn't work out as in the way you thought it would.

Speaker 3:

Although Hirox record holder, broken scale champion Hunter. What's Hunter's surname? The Obstacle Race, short Distance. He's won some world champs and stuff he's, and actually I think I think I think Brissy would be happy for him to be the father as well if it involved a night of night of sweet love-making. He doesn't look like that, hunter, thankfully no no Okay. So this is, oh, my goodness, there must be.

Speaker 2:

There's right. There's so much to talk about here and I don't know how much detail we can go into this and everything.

Speaker 3:

Yes, so do that. If you're expecting a running on this episode. It's probably not going to happen, Other than maybe running for my responsibilities.

Speaker 2:

Oh, no, no, no, no, because the thing is, david has held off on telling me anything off camera off mic and stuff like that. So everything that you are learning, I'm learning at the same time here on purpose.

Speaker 3:

So I have done that twice.

Speaker 2:

But Jesus man. Yes, okay, right. So Libby asked a bunch of questions which I've already forgotten. So how many people have asked you about the weight of the baby, and why is everyone so obsessed about the weight of the baby?

Speaker 3:

Well, a lot of people have asked about the weight of the baby, which seems to be the older generation. But the other thing that has complicated things somewhat is that because they told us the weight of the baby in kilograms, I did the conversion in my head because they had to write it down what the weight was on the form. So I then did it in my head, but I did it based off decimal. So we know that the baby was 6.8 kilograms. That's 6.8 pounds. But that has distressed a lot of people because they're not 6 pounds 11 ounces, so 8 ounces, 6 pounds 11 ounces there I think 612 or something like that. But because I've been telling everyone 6.8, that has caused some confusion about whether the baby's underweight or not and there are things along those lines.

Speaker 2:

It's a bit like the obsession with the weight is weird. I've never really kind of understood it. It's like oh, what's the baby's name and how much does it weigh? Like when do you ever ever have a situation where you ask those questions, apart from, maybe, weight watchers?

Speaker 3:

That's it, yeah yeah, yeah, that's it, or a fish.

Speaker 2:

Or really aggressive tinder or something, or really aggressive dating. How old are you, how much do you, what's your name and how much do you weigh?

Speaker 3:

And I was also kind of advised that the babies are born with like massive, like massively endowed when they come out.

Speaker 2:

That was going to be my first question. Are his balls absolutely gigantic?

Speaker 3:

The whole package. Tiny, just like his. That's what I knew, that's what I knew, absolutely minuscule. I'm like, yeah, the thing is.

Speaker 2:

I do think, I think, I think that it is for a first baby. I think it is slightly better having a boy because you have boy genitalia, because when it comes to nappies and stuff, when a boy weaves you can see it. When a girl weaves they can do kind of really kind of subtle weaves that you can't really see and stuff like that. And so at least with a boy you kind of you know where you are, you know what you're getting. Yeah, this might go everywhere, but that's kind of that's funny OK.

Speaker 3:

I've also heard the poo doesn't doesn't go wandering like it does in a girl.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I don't know. What does that mean? Doesn't go wandering.

Speaker 3:

Well, a friend has advised me that like a nasty pee it can get right up there In a girl.

Speaker 2:

you see you need to. Yes, of course. Yeah, I forgot. Oh yeah, yeah, you've got to get the. You're going to get the white. Oh yeah, god. Yeah, I remember that now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that was horrible. Bloody hell, yeah, yeah yeah, so OK so how long?

Speaker 2:

how long Like so? This is, this is the big question which don't tend to talk about. Talk about to people before. I think most parents have this agreement that we do not talk about this before you've actually been through the birth process. Because, yeah, if you explained if you, if you told it what it's really like, no one would fucking do it, but you know. So now the big question is what was the gap between what NCT made you think it was going to be like and what it was actually like?

Speaker 3:

I mean for me. I had. I had a lovely time. Plenty of snacks. I bought my thermos for last week.

Speaker 2:

Did you have music and a tennis ball to rub on her back? And we, oh, I didn't hear the tennis ball thing. No tennis ball. They go oh, I'll bring a tennis ball. Libby, when Libby, she had two books, champagne and all sorts of stuff to and soft Of course you didn't have your. Yeah, she probably had a minute Japani ready for the child to to ride out on and no, no, well, not quite, not quite, so go on, so go on, yeah, and so how long? How long was the labor?

Speaker 3:

So it's hard to define, but the three in the morning Breezy woke up and was getting contractions, yeah, and we're saying this feels this, feels like this could be the start of something, sends me into the office. So I go into work and about three in the afternoon I'm texting hey, you know what's the update? Is it, is it phantom, or, yeah, phantom cramps or properties like that? She's like no, no, this is starting to happen. Now we're like we're cooking on gas and like OK, go home. And it's she's probably doing time.

Speaker 2:

It would take time in the contractions.

Speaker 3:

Not that early, because she, but she was starting to get the odd. This is painful, oh, this is painful, oh, and then, and then a gap where that for years, though isn't she? It's true, she's. I've tried to numb her to to constant pain.

Speaker 2:

The. I didn't mean to be as discreet, as dirty as you then led it on to be, I just but but, but.

Speaker 3:

But then it's. It's weak, as as soon as the contractions stops you're just completely normal again. It's not. It's not like a prolonged agony that continues, and so we then went in at around 10 30 at night because the contractions were close enough, but she wasn't that dilated. So then we come back home.

Speaker 2:

So it just it, just out of curiosity. Ok, so the whole dance around hospitals, like what was it like in your area? Because where we were like there's a whole dance, like are we going to Hayward Teeth? Are we going to Brighton? Oh shit, brighton's full. We might have to go to Espawn, you know it's. I don't know what it's like with that, but it is, it's, it's an imagine as well You're probably thinking about.

Speaker 3:

how does this affect the, the, the status of our child and the local schoolage, and was was that a consideration for you?

Speaker 2:

The only consideration we had around location is that I didn't want Um. I ruled out Worthing Hospital because I did not want Worthing on the passport of my child.

Speaker 3:

That's the wasn't worthy, wasn't worthy of worthy, worthy Wasn't worthy of the and also, I've worked in Worthing Hospital, so there's no chance they still remember you.

Speaker 2:

No, that was the only thing. So yeah, so what was it like Did you have? Because that's the thing you go, because I think a lot of people do that and they don't realise that kind of thing happened. You go there and someone says your waters broken, but it's still not ready yet, and so you come back and then you go to another hospital and the hospital say you was haven't broken. You're like what the fuck is going on, like I thought they are or they aren't like what you say.

Speaker 3:

What we were. We were always going to Kings, kings which, you know, pain to be in some ways is an imperial man, but it's good enough for not even one king, but for many kings, so that's got to be a good sign. So we went in. It was closed, it was after 10. So we went up there and that's when it's this is the weirdest part which, to me, we're talking.

Speaker 2:

We would be on gender equality, I'd say of oh yeah, I know what you're going to say here. Yeah, I think we are.

Speaker 3:

I've never felt so good. I've looked ghostly for most for a large part of my life, but I've never felt so ghostly. And the number of times I was like oh, by the way, I'm David, nice to meet you. Anyone new? Oh hi, I'm David. By the way, nice to meet you. What's your name? Oh hi, I'm David. But and it's as if it's as if you don't exist, from from the moment that you walk into the hospital to to the, to the end and Briggs, you can obviously speak for a self, but there's an element of a smile. Doesn't cost you anything. It doesn't cost you anything. Oh, my God, and nod, that's how you are.

Speaker 2:

I went because I was, I was really hot on the contractions and they were very specific and they said, yeah, where the contractions gets this caught? Because we were originally going to go to a natural birthing hospital, which now seems the most course you were, of course you were. But the she'd been too long with the waters broken, so we then had to go to a different hospital. So I was really clear on, like when the contractions were and stuff. And then when we got to the hospital, we got to hospital, I was trying to talk to the exact same thing. I was trying to talk to the like the lead, my wife and stuff, and she goes how long do you think? She kept saying think like in this way, how long do you think they are apart? And I'm like, well, I don't think they're apart. I've been timing them. They're, they're this, but yeah, but yeah, but how long do you think they are? I mean, you think I'm like why the fuck you keep emphasizing the word think Like?

Speaker 3:

times, not an abstract.

Speaker 2:

It was weird. I said to Libby like when she got my is she drunk? Have they just had a party? And she's drunk? I felt like that. So I completely see that If there's two times when you, when you are, when you basically as a man, you end up feeling like a woman in the boardroom, which is one when you are looking at venues for weddings and two when you are basically in that, in that situation, I think at least you can get a cup of tea when you're looking at venues for weddings, right? Oh, at least it is difficult, like in the middle of like all the chaos going on in a maternity ward, you go. I don't suppose someone could get me a latte, could they? Is there, Is there.

Speaker 3:

I mean, there's a lot of milk around.

Speaker 2:

Oh God, what's the like? The little waiting room kind of room with tea and stuff like that in at King's College?

Speaker 3:

Well, that didn't really exist, so we went in. They sent us home. We then went on bed passed out. I fell asleep instantly, as I always do Pretty soon. We're waiting for it to be three, like. It feels like it's a lot more happening now, and then probably around five in the morning, we go in because the pain is getting so much so wait a minute.

Speaker 2:

So wait. You don't have a car, do you no?

Speaker 3:

no, just cheeky little Uber.

Speaker 2:

Cheeky little Uber. Okay, all right, cool, and how far away is that?

Speaker 3:

Super close, probably a mile door-to-door.

Speaker 2:

Oh, okay, okay, cool, all right.

Speaker 3:

I mean, there is a massive hill in between called Champion Hill, which is a very apt which does change you.

Speaker 2:

Oh, you should have just timed it to be. Where were you born? Champion Hill. Out the back of an Uber. Champion Hill. That was the most expensive Uber we've ever paid for.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, we had them circling the car parking at the top 15 hours.

Speaker 2:

Claire's going, aren't we at the hospital yet? You're like, ah no, this is just. It's amazing, all the diversions.

Speaker 3:

And then we then went in and, yeah, she was dilated at that stage. They took us into our own nice room. There was a lovely lady and actually the midwives were really nice and by the time I was kind of making a point of being like hi, I'm David, by the way, he was very obvious to them. I was saying I am telling you that I've included in everything in the way I'm saying this. Right, and I think the good thing about how I look is that if you looked at us as a couple, if you were to think- she probably thinks you're the granddad, you're the dad.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Like I said, the granddad, her dad. You're like ah, it's really good, it's really good that you've come in with your daughter.

Speaker 3:

Because I assume they're worried about the truth. It could be that I assume they're worried about they don't know necessarily who their husband is. Oh, safeguarding.

Speaker 2:

They think you're controlling. Hi, I'm David Look me in the eye. Please talk to her through me.

Speaker 3:

But if you look at the two of us, you probably bet that I was being verbally abused by Bricksy rather than the other way around. Well, that's going to be one of the other.

Speaker 2:

That changes later on, doesn't it? I do think there is an element of that. I do think there is an element of that as well. That not? Yeah, they don't know who the dad is Not really. They don't know and the woman's in a very vulnerable position where she can't do things. And it's good to have if you've been to NCT and stuff and you do those kind of things it's good to have you advocating for what your partner wants, although it's very hard to do when people are telling you the opposite stuff, especially with the first baby but, yeah, so, advocating for them. But there's probably lots of situations where, like you say, the person there is, it just needs to be ignored. They're making it about themselves or they're not focusing on what the mother needs, all those kind of things as well. So I do think that there is a kind of a tunnel vision type thing, which I think is fine. I just think NCT gives you the impression that it's all like winning this together, having a fun experience. It's so shared and the reality is it's not quite like that.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, especially because Brighley and I are very similar in that if we're in pain, we just want to go into our cave and we want to deal with it, and there's no kind words of supportive encouragement, it's just a wing. It's a knowing that will just piss you off. Yeah, and she doesn't want to be touched at all. So she literally doesn't want any involvement of me, which is fine, except when she's yelling in cries of pain for the best part of eight hours or something. That's when you're like, oh God, I kind of and it kind of made me think, because there is an element of I want her that when she looks over at me in pain to see that I'm looking at her, saying it's okay, I'm here for you, this is going to be fine, but you can't do that for eight hours, I'd say every time she looked at you, you're looking at your phone or something. Well, that's just think I was trying to be as attentive as possible, but at the same point and it did make me think you know when people go to like, at what point is it? You can't win?

Speaker 2:

I think it's one of those situations, you cannot win, it doesn't matter. You could stare at a solid piece for seven hours and 59 minutes and then briefly look away because your eyes are sore and you looked over. When I looked over, you were crying. It's all about you, go on. Sorry, I interrupted you there and thankfully, thankfully.

Speaker 3:

Brissy's not that she completely understands it and she was like I'm saying you know, I'm going to be sorry that you're like, feel like such. You must feel like such a third wheel because she gets it. But yeah, so I had, I had my magazine on my knee, that's reading the week has ever. I'm kind of looking towards Brissy, so I was looking in my head down reading, so I could then look up and be like hey, but it did make me think, say you're, there must be a point when think back to like Jesus on the cross. You know, those crucifixions took a long time, right. At what point are the people thinking about, oh, what am I having for tea tonight while their friend is dying in front of them? Because there must be a point where your brain just can't focus on one thing. And at what point is it acceptable that you're just going to think about completely like, oh, when you're seeing someone in the electric chair, or like lethal injection, that takes a while, point. It must be that that is really conflicting in your head.

Speaker 2:

Where you're, you're thinking about all these nice little things and then you're like, oh, my wife's in constant pain, A momentous association or something we do, and, like you're like my auntie, Python did that, you know, perfectly explained that kind of perfectly, didn't it? Like you know, incredible things are happening. Your brain can't help just go oh, there's cracks going up that wall. I wonder what their dresses are made of. I wonder if all of their outfits they have to buy them separately, or what if they all have to kind of share what they're? Just all those different kind of questions. Oh yeah, my best friend's dying in front of me. Yeah, exactly. But you just yeah. But you're like your brain. I'm like, oh, this is really serious. But your brain can't be really serious for a prolonged period of time. It can only do it like in acute moments, can't it? It can't be like this is really terrible and it's still terrible. And it's still terrible an hour on, but my terrible it's definitely not. It doesn't feel as terrible as it did right at the start of it. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think there's much to really prepare you for seeing your partner in that amount of pain and not being able to do anything about it. Yeah, and for them to willingly be in that amount of pain as well. I think you just have to make sure you do things like probably not share some of those articles in the week while you're doing it, yeah true, oh yeah, oh, it's a funny one for you, bizzy. Or complain that you've hurt yourself or that you're feeling tired, or something like that, or possibly cracking a joke, yeah, yeah, trying to hit it off with the nurses, but oh, any of those things. Any of those things, probably. There's probably certain things just not to do in those situations.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, but she took gas and then. But she didn't want an epidural and she did the whole thing on basically mild painkillers and it's pretty ugly, Do you think? I don't know if I'd have done that. I think I'd have probably epiduraled fairly. So I think she had her reasons behind that, which I didn't ask about.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, there's lots of reasons and everything changes. That's the thing it's about. Just everything completely changes when you're kind of like in the moment, according to what, like Libby has said, all of a sudden stuff that you thought was really important, that you absolutely had to do changes when something changes in that room and you need to get the baby out or whatever. But what was the point I was going to make around that? I think the important thing is apparently, afterwards it's quite a good idea to go back over it again and just think about what went really well. Did you have that thing where and I don't know whether this is a general thing, but I have heard other people do it is where they ask you is this your first? And sometimes some of your answers aren't good enough because this is your first and it's almost as though does it matter whether it's my first or my second or whatever. But I don't know whether you either heard that question being asked or whether things came up around that, because I think that seems to be a lot for what was happening with us when it happened, and I don't know how many other people have experienced that.

Speaker 3:

Not really. Not really, although, because they work shifts and there's often support staff and there's a student nurse and there's someone else who wasn't sure, someone who's in training. So whenever anyone new enters the room, they don't know that you've been doing this for like six hours. So you're then like I can't just be seen to be reading the week while my wife's in agony, because they're going to think I'm a right uncaring bastard. So I now have to be, like then attentive again and being like oh hey, honey, can I get you any drink?

Speaker 2:

Can you just let me know over the shift so I could about five minutes.

Speaker 3:

I could just get prepped ready for the change, because I want them to think I'm a great guy as well. I don't want them to just think he's this poor woman with this uncaring sociopath in the corner. Yeah, but when it's amazing how, when the baby drops out, the mums just can, all pain just vanishes. And that was it.

Speaker 2:

That was what I wanted to. That's what I wanted. So when we did it, when we did NCT, the woman who's doing NCT was talking about the stress and the strain that a body goes through and the way that she competes, she goes. Oh, when do you go through? Yeah, when you're having a baby. It's like running a marathon. So, of course, when she said that, I turned to Libby and I've got, I've run hundreds of those I've done back to back. But I mean like what I like the person that clean made us never run a marathon, yeah it's nothing like running a marathon. It's a weird comparison. And then, oh, if you did run a marathon, what marathon would leave you in that state?

Speaker 3:

And that's the yeah, and that's the stage where you go oh, brilliant, so we can, we get busy and we take it slow enough, there's gonna be zero pain whatsoever. Where's the fancy?

Speaker 2:

dress Libby At the end of it. At the end of it, you should have just put one of those what's it called? The foil things around her and giving them a medal, and just like there we go. That's it. So they did innovate. They pull the baby out and then they put it in that. Oh, what's the thing called? The thing with the light, the thing with the light coming down. We didn't do that, for hours, really.

Speaker 3:

No, we just had the baby with us for maybe three, four hours. Because everyone's asking us about weight and stuff and we don't know we we had, we had a few complications. So, yeah, we, it wasn't until the baby was born at 150. We probably didn't weigh the baby until six at night. So actually we'd almost been told that once the baby's out, they then ship you into the, the postnatal wing and you're kind of just ignored slightly and not looked after in the same way. But because of these complications we had kind of five hours of just really nice chill out time with people coming around and but it's just that, it's just a mild thing. I understand when, because we were then in for another 24 hours and I ended up getting we ended up getting like takeaway delivered because we hadn't realized we'd been at night before, the food was cold and because we hadn't eaten at the time because stuff was going on. But yeah, just when they come around, I completely understand not giving me food, because that's a budget. They don't have any people giving me there. But when someone comes in and says, would you like a cup of tea? And it's just too breezy and you'll sat there, you've been there for 24 hours and tea costs nothing, and also the effort and they won't even that there's, they don't even acknowledge that you're there, let alone would you just just the significance of how it makes you feel, of not, of being ignored and not being offered a cup of tea. We I think maybe it's worse because we're British, but to me, not offering someone a cup of tea when someone else is being is telling them that you're not welcome here. It's worse than just saying you're not allowed dinner, because it's basically saying you should not be here. I'm intentionally being rude to you as opposed to, and so that just blew my mind that when we're, we surely want. We want dads involved because, especially as a friend of mine, sam Delaney guy, used to work. If he wrote a whole book about how it he found that he was disconnected from his child for a long time and couldn't, couldn't, bond with it in the way that he thought he was meant to. And it was quite common in dads. And and actually, if that is a genuine concern of for males and realistically, we want men to get equal paternity leave so that mums can go back to work earlier if they want and therefore not lose out in their careers. We want dads involved as much as possible to facilitate mums getting into the workforce if they want to. Small things like that, where the first experience you have is you are not welcome here. That's what. That's what it signified to me and it's really pissed me off.

Speaker 2:

That's really weird because I didn't experience that. So it's just, it's really interesting people's different birth experiences and stuff. So because ours was totally different, like we you know, because Fried Libby was what I think when he 36 hours or something- Something ridiculous, some ridiculous amount of time in labor. And then we needed the vantues. And then, once you have a vantues, what's the vantues? A vantue, so she, she wouldn't cut, she, she didn't come out, basically. And then they it's like it sounds like a thing with a hook that you hook into their skull and then you pull the baby out that way. And so basically this like this short lady came in and pulled, dragged the baby out of the get Dustin Hoffman in oh my god, it's just it from the look. Oh, it's like but you see this like big mark and it's like, it's like suction and it's weird. It's like obviously, yeah, so put it. And so then there's obviously there's a load of stuff that has to go on after that because the baby's been in there so long and stuff like that. So there's all there's that gap where right is the baby breathing and then it goes into a I can't remember then something air, something air thing I can't remember what it's called. But then it goes on there to check it and then you to check it, and all that kind of stuff needs to happen. And then it goes back to it goes back to the parents and stuff like that. But straight afterwards, like Libby says, like I think she said like the best meal she has ever had was after having both children being given tea and toast and we were both given tea and toast and I just I don't that kind of thing of being ignored wasn't really. I don't think it was as bad as it was for you. Like I felt I was kind of a bit ignored and stuff like that, but not to the extent. So no one offers you a cup of tea. Not offering you a cup of tea is literally like the worst thing you could do to a British gentleman.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, isn't it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, like not even a cup of fucking tea.

Speaker 3:

Like, yeah, that is awful and I know, I know, I know there's probably lots of mothers in here going all right.

Speaker 2:

So we're talking about, you know, birth and you know, lady, we got you. And now here is a man it's a couple of chaps mansplaining the fact that he was very impolite, not given a, even a cup of tea, but it's. You're like it's, it's, it's an important moment, like because you kind of celebrate it together. You're like, oh, you know, we've kind of done this together, one a lot more effort than the other person, but still it is a shared effort, and so it's just something as simple as having a cup of tea together and just sitting there with the baby, and it's just that's lovely. That little moment there is lovely. It's because there's nothing. It's nothing really, the you know. I mean I don't know what it was like in the way, like when, when you go, when he came could, both of the children had complications of some sort. So one had to come out with Vontuzi. The other one had to come out super quick because he had a. It wasn't called a, a book called wrapped around his neck.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, stuff like that. So differently, and it was just we're sat in literally like blood and kind of all sorts of like crap like that, but just sitting there with a tea and really buttery toast and you're like really enjoy it. It was just like, oh, you know, and I remember that being such a lovely moment and stuff like that. Yeah, and actually the you know that might that might have been the kind of sound of you, but I think when that, when the baby is born, like the, like the few days after and stuff, and especially like the first time, for example, as a you don't, you don't have to do the first time, you have to put it into a car seat to take it and put it in the car, and then you see it in your car and it's the tiniest thing. You look back on the car seat and it's the tiniest thing, and you're like going, you're driving at like three miles per hour because you don't want anything to to happen and stuff like that. All of those moments are really those are great, like all of that stuff. Like you know, that is kind of such amazing memories you're going to have like the next few days and the next few weeks and stuff like that, because this is you know, and then you have a period between about four or five weeks after they're born to learn about, you know 18, where it's fucking awful. But apart from that so really I'm just joking but really like I think this is such a lovely time.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, completely. And that's the thing we, because we haven't got a car or anything. So we we said, well, should we walk back? And there's this pub we've. So we we live between Denmark Hill and just past East Dahlins station and quite often we'll come out of Denmark Hill and get the bus and you'll go past this pub called the George Canning, which is George Canning was famous as being the shortest serving prime minister before Liz. Trust came and like blew that way and we walk it's the town.

Speaker 2:

It's the town named after him.

Speaker 3:

I'm not sure if it is, I'd imagine it is linked in some way. Um, because that's North London, is it Canningtown? And uh, so I'd imagine, so there must be next to his family. Um, but we we're like, well, let's, should we go for a drink, let's do our first drink on the way back. Why not do a stop halfway, get a pint, work the baby's heads and she's like, yeah, so it's cool. We had our, our one day old baby in the pub, um, at like nine at night or something. We've all these old boys around and, uh, pint again. It's traditional, it's just great.

Speaker 2:

Like this is it's nothing wrong with that. We used to when we had freedom. We used to live next to a pub and we were literally just in there because we had a pub and we had a park and it was lit. It was. It was incredible. And the other thing is what you realize I don't know whether this depending on the pub stuff is when people see a new baby, like the response to when they see one that's really really new. I mean, like what if you had loads of people coming up to you go, oh, he's really new, oh.

Speaker 3:

And then people kind of reliving the, the they look like how old they're like wow, and they're kind of coming in. And the fun thing is when, um, cause, we messaged out saying I messaged out eventually saying like Hercules, hercules, hel-art, blah, blah, blah, a few images and some people uh didn't, they saw it as Hercules but assumed it wasn't his real name, like, but Ally, ally knows someone else who's had a, um, a child called Hercules Pani. Pani is a DJ and their middle name is Danger.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I know someone that called the uh gave Danger middle name to their child.

Speaker 3:

But you're not liking that.

Speaker 2:

Um, I, I think it, uh, I mean it's, it's, it's.

Speaker 3:

I think the thing is the thing is this is the difficulty.

Speaker 2:

So you like names, but then you associate names with people because you can't, and as soon as you associate name with a person, you either like or don't like that name again. Yeah, and that's the thing and I think that happens a lot Like free Libby came up with lots of different names for it and I'm like I know so and so and uh, and I don't like them and I don't. And every time I think of that name, that's the person.

Speaker 3:

I think yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 2:

So I suppose that's that, that's it. I do think there's um.

Speaker 3:

I do think I'm, I'm, I'm surely.

Speaker 2:

I'm surely no one, no one would possibly think that a hellard baby would have a name other weaker than her Like. I couldn't imagine you call him like oh we're, we're calling him Henry or something like that. That was never on the cards.

Speaker 3:

Have I told you Pope Pius uh, son's name? No Capability.

Speaker 2:

Oh, that's good. Oh, you like it, it's really good.

Speaker 3:

Oh, that's very good.

Speaker 2:

Most people don't like it. Well, if he gives a shit like that's really good.

Speaker 3:

I like it.

Speaker 2:

Interesting. Oh, that's nice yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's a cape. That's a good one.

Speaker 3:

Capo or Billy.

Speaker 2:

Why don't you call him fucking Billy? Why don't you just call I don't know someone? Oh, we call our kid this and we're going to then call him this. If you want to call, if you want to shorten it already, just give him the shorter name, don't give him the long name.

Speaker 3:

I think it's cause. I think it's cause mum is is not quite as on board as dad with the name Shall, we say, but I think he leaves. Is probably going to be her little her.

Speaker 2:

You can tell. You can tell how much the you can tell how much from our children's names. I've had an influence on their names because my children would be vastly, vastly different names if I was responsible for calling them whatever I wanted to be oh couldn't it. It would I like low key, but there's actually loads of people call their kids low key now.

Speaker 3:

No, not low key. Oh, like it's terrible. I'm with Libby on this one Low key. No, no, no.

Speaker 2:

Libby. Libby just comes up with the names that conservative MPs would give their kids, like all those kinds of names like Hector, hector or the names of most of your friends from school. That's the kind of they come up with, so okay. So what? We had the benefit that my daughter was born day after my dad's birthday. Yeah, it was so close to it being, as we missed out my four hours, it being on my dad's birthday, which would have been hilarious, but we had the. We had a family party like the day after she was born so we could take. We took her to the family party and like a poofs and stuff like that. We absolutely loved it. What is your? What is your? Do you have a schedule of meeting and greeting and presenting the child?

Speaker 3:

No, no, being we can't be fucked. Really, the good thing is everyone has to come to you. Yeah, we, no, the thing is when we can't be asked to do most things. So we haven't. We sent a few messages out to people. We haven't done any social media posts about it. People will drop in at some time, I'm sure. Mama B came straight over and she's already Just at the door before she's getting her third meeting today, I think. My dad's in Bangladesh, though for a few weeks, so, yeah, he'll have to wait until after, although he came up just before to see him. So we went down to him just before so you could see a massive pregnant breezy. But now we've just been fairly chilled and People is some people who really want to meet them. They can come meet them, but most of my buddies are like, cool, yeah, whatever man, and we've been out a few times. So we we had went out for wine and cheese a couple of nights ago, went to pub day before she's got babies, and we'll do this. We'll talk about more baby stuff later, but I think so so far we're just happy at home and and then we'll go out and do fun things that we fancy, but Will host Christmas here with them, maybe get to twicken for the rugby and with baby. We've booked our first gig in and new forkner. Boom, boom, boom down to Southampton and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Can you come to the Lord Tim? Can you come to I don't know really, a quiz and all that you can do? Can you come to the baby naming? You think the baby naming?

Speaker 3:

I can just love you.

Speaker 2:

You will be letting a baby down. What are you?

Speaker 3:

But just just to say some kind of anything running that what I've been worried about, what I've been unsure of, is whether I'll be able to run, because you're not sure how if, if you're just all in the whole time there's, but actually so far it's been pretty straightforward where.

Speaker 2:

Bricksy. Bricksy has been very, very, you know, unselfish and as, as breath fed was, libby selfishly decided to not not be able to Well, to move to bottle feeding, which meant the feeding you know was was evenly split between us, which is incredibly selfish. Absolutely and kept me, kept me fully, fully involved from a very, very early stage.

Speaker 3:

I've done a couple of bottles this morning when mum was sleeping, so it's all. Yeah, he drinks it out. He lapsed out like a trooper. So yeah, we're showing that out, but actually, from what we can understand, the first few weeks of the easy bit, because the baby just eats sleep spooze. I'm a demon at changing nappies, one handed super fast.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think changing nappies is not a problem. Everyone goes oh, changing nappies, always nappies. It was one of the like the least concerning things. Yeah, of all I just it was like it doesn't like it, like you just don't care, like why, all the things that can happen, changing nappies is just like nothing, super fast super easy, not not unfun.

Speaker 3:

We've already got quite a few songs. I think my my, one of my highlights was when Bricksy was walking by had a good giggle rhyming nappy with Pappy. I thought was was quite good in Just a freestyle song as a so that's going to be used a few times. But yeah, it's Of the world. The world is a good place. Hercules is completely well and a little dude. Everything is good for men amazing, amazing.

Speaker 2:

Well, congratulations. I'm really really pleased to be for you and Claire.

Speaker 3:

Cheers Buster and when you and when you and Libby fancy coming up to to visit, you're more than welcome to bring the family stay for the day, do a winter barbecue and.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I do love it. I do love a good new baby. I do. I have such good like like memories and you know just, it is great have a little tiny baby there All the time as an, as an accessory. I mean it sounds like it's good to, you know, have a baby just in the room at any point Well, mate, he's expecting a visit for his uncle at any time.

Speaker 3:

He fancied so well, there's our baby episode. We went by.

Speaker 2:

We talked about these. It got slightly political as well, you know. I think I think we've covered everything. What do you think? Do you think that the worst thing that could happen to a British press is to not be offered a cup of tea? I can't. I can't think of something worse.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, I'd rather be slapped in the face, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I just that is pretty bad. I mean not being offered a cup of tea.

Speaker 3:

Hmm, we need. We need to make changes in this NHS. People funding cups of tea. This is the campaign.

Speaker 2:

Imagine if they had imagine if the NHS could just fund a tea sommelier. They, literally all they did was just come round and just I want a better place. It would be. Yeah, forget about, forget about cleaning the place, forget about the food and stuff like that, just to get some laps on Sushong in the hand of every it's dangerous man, it's probably banned. That's like Sushong dangerous substance banned from, banned from hospitals.

Speaker 3:

Well, guys, we're apologies for not doing many bad stuff recently. It's partly been travel schedules, partly been baby stuff, but we should be back from now on with more regular bad stuff and maybe some running related ones as well. So, possibly, but if you've got some suggestions of guests, that message me, david at badboyrunningcom or on Instagram. We were taking suggestions currently and trying to get in as many interviews as possible before I head out to Thailand and anything else is thrown to the mix.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, join the conversation. Head over to Facebook type in bad morning podcast three questions and join the conversation there if you want. Merch storebadboyrunningcom.

Speaker 3:

That's just in case we see you soon.

Speaker 1:

Baby, come back. I must admit I was a clown to be messing around, but that doesn't mean that you have to leave town. Come back, yes, and give me one more try, cause I love like this. Should I never, ever die. Come back, fuck you, buddy.

Surprises and Discussions About Parenthood
Hospital Experience and Gender Equality
Partner's Role and Challenges in Childbirth
The Importance of Offering Tea
New Baby Names and Socializing Plans
Baby Naming and Parenting Conversations
Apologies for Absence; Join Conversation